It’s Electric. You Still Don’t Need It.
You wouldn’t buy a plane in case you go to Cabo.
“Can the F-150 Lightning Make Everyone Want a Truck That Plugs In?” This article in The New York Times just appeared in my Twitter feed.
In full transparency, I didn’t read it. But, to answer the question: no. It cannot. There is nothing in this world that can make me want a truck — even if it plugs in, unless my safety and my livelihood depended on that truck. But that is where we need to distinguish between want and need.
Misplaced Beef
It is probably obvious to say that I am all for moving away from fossil fuels. But, as a resident of the Rust Belt, I struggle with the amount of praise this electric truck stunt gets. Putting this much weight into the power source of the vehicle detracts from the real issue at hand, which is the fact that we need vehicles to operate in inefficient systems.
And unfortunately, as more attention is given to single occupancy vehicles, the system becomes worse, and these vehicles become larger (it’s rare to see a suburban mother toting her children in a sedan here in NE Ohio today). It’s not difficult to imagine the perpetuation of the same auto centric patterns that have guided this area into a human dead zone for decades: these trucks become heavier and roadways will become wider as engineers seek to create more space between machines, which are incompatible with the human scale, and other drivers in the name of safety.
The thing is, “if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig.” If you put a battery in a truck, it’s still a truck. The system is still broken. “Enhancing” the truck is like tending to your broken back with a cashmere sweater. A battery will not address the air, water, and noise pollution from brake dust, tires on pavement, and excessive blaring of country music; it will only increase danger for all other non-truck commuters; and the sheer amount of space these vehicles require will likely even increase.
Restrict Me, Restrict Me Not
This electric stunt scheme is just another failure of leadership. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that our “leaders” have put restrictions on the wrongs things. Take cannabis. What does the State of Ohio say about cannabis? I paraphrase:
We welcome cannabis in Ohio. But you must adhere to this rigid code so that you understand the following: First, we will only administer a limited amount of licenses per year. You must also have a building secured before you apply for that license. Oh, and, it’s a lottery system — so good luck!
Second, you can only sell to those with a special license that demonstrate their need for your product. We want to make sure they really need it. We don’t marijuana floating around in the ethers, like cigarettes, trucks, and prescription trucks. And third, you absolutely cannot advertise in any manner. Not on billboards. Not on commercials. Not on the radio. Do not mention “cannabis” in the public sphere. We don’t want to give the children any ideas.
Consumers? Oh, you mean users? This isn’t for everyone. You must complete a thorough exam with a certified doctor who can attest to the fact that you absolutely need cannabis. Then you must purchase a medical marijuana card. There are no public subsidies available for the exam or the card, and this process is not an allowable medical expense through your insurance. But! If you managed to afford them, you can legally smoke a joint in the State of Ohio.
Now, most of us know that it is highly unlikely that someone smoking a joint will negatively impact society. But, we can’t say the same thing about someone driving a vehicle.
“The number of Ohio traffic deaths increased from 1,230 in 2020 to 1,360 in 2021, according to Ohio State Highway Patrol data obtained by the Dayton Daily News. That’s the most fatalities the state has seen since 2002, when 1,417 people died in crashes statewide” (Dayton Daily News).
But, the State of Ohio has no reservations in extending its welcome to the electric truck industry. And again, I paraphrase:
Hello, electric truck industry!!! Welcome to Ohio!!! We are so happy to have you. Please let us know how we can help. We have demonstrated experience in accommodating your industry by tailoring entire swaths of land to your product.
We provide wider roads; eradicate obstacles and distractions such as trees and humans (and believe it or not, we are even on our way to eliminating all smaller vehicles that can slow you down – an unexpected but pleasant outcome of our engineering practices!).
We will offset your costs for operating in Ohio in any way we can! We love to throw in tax abatements just so you know we absolutely do not expect you to contribute to Ohio. And you definitely don’t have to hire local residents, but we found out that it’s nice to say you will when we put out that press release. Anyway, make yourself at home. And anything you can think of, just let us know.
Oh! And please, advertise as you wish. Tell ‘em what you want. We know there is plenty of research around the negative consequences of autocentricity, but climate change is a hot topic, so distract ‘em with the battery! If it’s going to give us quick returns, then hell, perpetuate everything that is wrong with America, because if this is wrong, then we don’t want to be right!
But, you know… Sell it as freedom. Luxury. The dream. (And just a tip: feature an athletic build. You wouldn’t want to allude to the negative consequences of a sedentary society. And maybe don’t mention the absurd amount of deaths associated with your product.) Thanks for choosing Ohio!
Demonstrated Need
My point is, trucks are not only disruptive to society, but have proven to be fatal. The use of trucks by some inhibits the freedom, safety, and ease by which others can move through the built environment.
The auto industry needs more regulation, and I truly believe people should have to take some type of needs assessment to purchase a truck. Does your livelihood depend on the regular use of this truck? Does your health depend on the regular use of this truck? Do you need this truck to function as a contributing member of society? No? Then rent one on the rate occasion that you need it.
I say: One truck per neighborhood. Scale the size to 50%. No upgraded exhaust systems. (Actually, no “bells and whistles” at all. A truck is meant for hauling.) Vote for me.
It’s Time Someone Told Them
Guys, a truck is meant to serve a purpose. If you’re not hauling loads of timber, you don’t need a truck. I know you are probably good people, but there is something about the truck that makes you disregard every living being around you. And, it’s not even your fault. It is a psychological side effect of having control over something with so much power. Sitting so high above sea level. Making so much noise and gaining so much speed with a simple flick of your foot.
But you need to know this. When you pull up to a woman who is in any way inferior in terms of noise, size, and sheer disruption — and especially if they are walking and biking — with your music blaring and your engine revving, your nod is not received in the way you intended. You just look douchey. And I don’t mean to be harsh, but “douchey” is, in fact, in the New Oxford American Dictionary, and it means exactly how I intended it to mean.
What is your stance on transportation, the electric vehicle revolution, and the like? Please share in the comments! And if you want more opinion pieces on why vehicles are trash, follow my feed.
